A comment that starts off with
"Ok, let's shut you down..." isn't rude or at the very least abrasive? And the personal attacks about how the user's perspective is
"limited" or
"biased" or that maybe they're not that good at assessing quality? Hm.
I'm not actually calling for a change in moderation or a removal of the upvotes, more of a change in consistency in how some users react to rudeness when it comes from someone they know and like as opposed to someone they don't! I was referring to the 'tone police' (i.e. people who feel the need to berate one user on their perceived rudeness but not another) and how they're pretty inconsistent when it comes to calling out the regulars vs the newbies/outcasts. You can put it down to human nature and whatnot but it's still dodgy
I agree with the rest of your post, but let's not pretend that it's all subjective and that tone is in the eye of the beholder. Whisperingrock clearly lost their calm in how they replied to you and LegalNim clearly got offended or irked in response to them.
In any case this wasn't a point I was planning on have blow up into (another) full blown debate - more of an observation from someone who doesn't post here often. I'll call out any particularly egregious double standards if I see them in the future (I hope I won't! I like TCLA)