Hi everyone, please bear with me as I share my built-up frustration.
This is my 3rd cycle (or 4th if I add first-year activities). I graduated last summer from the University of Birmingham with a very low 2:1 and extreme burnout. In second year, I almost failed Tort and Land owing to worsening mental health. I applied for mitigating circumstances hoping to re-sit these core modules, but uni told me "You passed and that's enough. Work harder next year and if you're sufficiently close to a first, we'll grant you a first". Considering how firms are very picky about Tort in particular, I felt very frustrated but moved on. In final year, I scored a high first, 3 2:1s, and a couple of high 2:2s. Very inconsistent, I know. Before that, I confidently disclosed mitigating circumstances based on what happened in second year, but then I felt like I had to justify the final-year inconsistencies too (that's also what
@Jessica Booker told me). This also barred me from pursuing an LLM at the London Elite (KCL, UCL, LSE). I was already fed up, if not traumatised by my Birmingham experience.
Without a TC offer lined up and nothing better to do, I traveled to Amsterdam to pursue an LLM that I never wanted to do. I was mostly pleasing my Middle Eastern family that wanted me to keep going all the way to a PhD. It was a disaster - academic culture shock, panic attacks, frustration and failing. I ended up dropping out half a semester into it, and for now, I'm waiting to be rescued by a TC offer, or else I'd do the SQE prep.
VS/TC Applications also have a major contribution to my current burnout and despair. In second year, my applications were reviewed through a mentoring scheme and I was told I'd be "the miracle of that cycle" considering how "great" my submissions were. None of the applications went through. I got rejections either post-app or after passing the tests, except for a
Linklaters AC (Middle East though, so the curve was lower), but that didn't go through either. In final year, the furthest I went through was an AC waitlist at DWF, and a first-stage interview for the SH Dubai VS (they ghosted me for 6 weeks after that interview, only to reject me for the STUPIDEST reasons. They could've just said "you came third best after the 2 candidates we could accommodate").
I did everything possible to maximise my applications. Workshops? Done it. Networking? Done it, even secured 2 internships at international law firms in Qatar (one was W&C). Courses? Done it (Thanks
@Jaysen for all your efforts). Open Days? Done it. I feel like I'd only be noticed if there aren't many applicants applying to that one firm at that one cycle. I don't know what else I could do at this point. I wish a partner could just salvage me and bypass all the draining recruitment processes. It's even more difficult for me because I'm an international student whose sponsorship would be an "expensive gamble". I have the 2-year graduate visa, but I found no luck in relevant paralegal positions either.
I've reached a point where I'm creatively crafting excuses. I started playing the "disability" card. At first, I was diagnosed with comorbid depression and anxiety. Another doctor confirmed I have borderline ADHD. Others told me I'm suffering from autistic burnout but I cannot seek a diagnosis because it would put me at a serious disadvantage back home (where insurers and employers have access to medical documents). Not even the "Guaranteed Interview" process helped me. I remember being rejected post-app by a firm I wouldn't publicly mention. According to them, the "minimum requirements" extends beyond academics to other extracurriculars (which I had TONS of). They didn't even entertain looking into my matter personally. It was a generic answer over the phone.
I'm in so much pain.