After much thinking and lots of moodiness, I have decided to no longer apply for TCs or VSs.
I have a first class degree and A*A*A*A* despite my undiagnosed dyslexia and my mental struggles. My achievements are the result of a lot of support from doctors and family. However, this is not the case with my academic results in this country. I was stupid, I did not ask for help because it was expensive and also because back then my english language skills were not exactly great.
I could keep applying but applications require a lot of efforts, and I know, deep inside me, that i will be rejected at the application level. I have a good career as a paralegal, but I am planning to change for something else.
I could try with Cilex or SQE, but I have done more than 50 University exams in my life (32 University exams in my country) and the idea of paying fees and study for the exams makes me puke.
Becoming a solicitor is hard and this cycle was painful, and Covid is going to make things harder especially for black people like me. Law firms are not forgiving!