Hi everyone, just received my fourth post-AC rejection. That's it for me this cycle. No vac scheme/TC this year. I hate be complaining because I know many others are in the same position as I am. But I am just so disappointed in myself. I don't get how some people are able to get it right the first round. It feels very bad being in a friendship circle where people are all getting their vac schemes and I am the one with nothing. I feel like the ultimate failure. Last semester I put my studies aside to focus on the apps. I was hoping to get something this year so I could focus on graduating with a first. Now I won't be able to do that. I'm still lagging behind even though I've been putting in so much effort trying all ways to be ahead of the game. It feels really bad when you try your best and you are told that you best isn't even enough. I don't know if I have more to give. I feel like a total failure. Some nights I cry myself to sleep because I feel like a total let down to my parents. I am under so much pressure and so much stress.
I feel for you - as you said, so so many other people are in the same position as you (it has actually been a running theme of my office hours). I know that you're feeling very disappointed in yourself, but I'd want you to remember that so much of this process is outside of your control. You are likely to be an excellent candidate, and others just so happened to have more luck than you this cycle, which isn't a reflection on your abilities or potential to be a great lawyer. One of the unfortunate facts of the online world is we now get to see every time someone gets an offer, which I think is very unhealthy - the reality is that the vast majority of people haven't got offers this cycle.
It's really hard to imagine this, but I'd also remind you of the long term - when you look back on this, as a lawyer, the fact that you took a bit longer to secure a training contract won't matter. If anything, if you stick through this, going through this rejection right now is going to make you come out as a very resilient person.