Vacation Scheme - Recent Experience

[Donzi]

Hi everyone,

By way of background, last week I started my first online vacation scheme.

Although I'm happy, I am experiencing major imposter syndrome. I simply do not feel good enough. I added a few of the other candidates on LinkedIn and everyone has way better A Levels than me, experiences, went to better unis and have really cool hobby's.

I really feel out of place and I'm starting to feel unworthy of being a candidate on the vac scheme.

I already suffer from anxiety and I kept chocking every time it was my turn to speak.

I come from a very disadvantaged, working class, BAME background.

Hope someone understand what I'm going through and can maybe share their experience or help instil some confident in me.

I might come across dramatic to some, but I genuinely feel this way and have no one to talk to about it.

 

[Daniel Boden]

Hi everyone,

By way of background, last week I started my first online vacation scheme.

Although I'm happy, I am experiencing major imposter syndrome. I simply do not feel good enough. I added a few of the other candidates on LinkedIn and everyone has way better A Levels than me, experiences, went to better unis and have really cool hobby's.

I really feel out of place and I'm starting to feel unworthy of being a candidate on the vac scheme.

I already suffer from anxiety and I kept chocking every time it was my turn to speak.

I come from a very disadvantaged, working class, BAME background.

Hope someone understand what I'm going through and can maybe share their experience or help instil some confident in me.

I might come across dramatic to some, but I genuinely feel this way and have no one to talk to about it.

Hi Donzi,

Firstly, thank you for having the courage to share this post and huge congratulations for getting onto the vacation scheme. That in itself is a fantastic achievement and you should be very proud.

I totally understand where you're coming from regarding imposter syndrome and I'm sure a lot of people have also had similar feelings of self-doubt.

That said it really is important to recognise that the firm recognises that you are good enough and one of the best applicants they had, otherwise you wouldn't have got as far as you have. If I were you, I'd watch a few motivational videos on YouTube - they really help me and there are some good ones on imposter syndrome too which should give you more confidence. I'm a big believer in positive affirmations so maybe before you log onto a call, just take 30 seconds to repeatedly tell yourself that you are good enough and that you are more than capable of impressing and getting a training contract

I think you need to try and turn your mindset around if you can; the fact you have a working-class BAME background gives you certain strings to your bow that other applicants wouldn't have and definitely makes you a strong candidate in a different way! You've got this and I know I can speak for everyone on the forum in that we are all really rooting for you

 

[Alice G]

Hi everyone,

By way of background, last week I started my first online vacation scheme.

Although I'm happy, I am experiencing major imposter syndrome. I simply do not feel good enough. I added a few of the other candidates on LinkedIn and everyone has way better A Levels than me, experiences, went to better unis and have really cool hobby's.

I really feel out of place and I'm starting to feel unworthy of being a candidate on the vac scheme.

I already suffer from anxiety and I kept chocking every time it was my turn to speak.

I come from a very disadvantaged, working class, BAME background.

Hope someone understand what I'm going through and can maybe share their experience or help instil some confident in me.

I might come across dramatic to some, but I genuinely feel this way and have no one to talk to about it.

Hi Donzi,

I totally agree with what Dan says here and I want to make absolutely clear, this is in no way dramatic. Imposter syndrome is incredibly real and has certainly inhibited me before and made me doubt myself to a great degree.

it’s something I find hard to talk about because it really is such an internal battle and mindset is so important in overcoming this. But, altering your mindset is exceedingly tough, it would be much easier just to implement something more practical because reshaping your thoughts and perceptions takes time and energy. It really isn’t a quick fix and definitely takes time to settle.

One thing I will say to you that I told myself is actually how incredible it is to have gotten a Vac scheme (or an open day etc) despite the odds and how it stands as a testament to how hard you’ve worked. This isn’t a fluke. You’ve clearly worked so hard and persevered for years to get to this point. I agree with Dan too where I think that our backgrounds really shape us and give us qualities that can be really leveraged in law firms, I’ve heard many people talk about the ‘grit’ people can display when they’ve had to work and battle that bit harder to get to where they want to be because they’ve not had the opportunities that others may have.

please see your background and experiences as a strength and, whilst terribly hard, try to stop comparing yourself to others. We are all inherently unique and shouldn’t be compared as we weren’t designed to be. We are all on our own paths and have our own worth and it is so important to know and acknowledge your own.

you are exceptionally brave for sharing this and know we are hear you support you however we can, we are always here to listen

 

[Ifmhouse4]

Hi everyone,

By way of background, last week I started my first online vacation scheme.

Although I'm happy, I am experiencing major imposter syndrome. I simply do not feel good enough. I added a few of the other candidates on LinkedIn and everyone has way better A Levels than me, experiences, went to better unis and have really cool hobby's.

I really feel out of place and I'm starting to feel unworthy of being a candidate on the vac scheme.

I already suffer from anxiety and I kept chocking every time it was my turn to speak.

I come from a very disadvantaged, working class, BAME background.

Hope someone understand what I'm going through and can maybe share their experience or help instil some confident in me.

I might come across dramatic to some, but I genuinely feel this way and have no one to talk to about it.

You are already smashing it by getting a place on the scheme! also, I've found that some of the best candidates I've met at Assessment Days haven't always gone to the 'Best' university and everything else that comes with it. You have got this! I'm not sure how your online vacation scheme is structured, but I am sure as you complete more tasks, you will build your confidence and realise that you are equally as worthy to be there! feel free to message me if you ever need

 

[jan28]

Hi everyone,

By way of background, last week I started my first online vacation scheme.

Although I'm happy, I am experiencing major imposter syndrome. I simply do not feel good enough. I added a few of the other candidates on LinkedIn and everyone has way better A Levels than me, experiences, went to better unis and have really cool hobby's.

I really feel out of place and I'm starting to feel unworthy of being a candidate on the vac scheme.

I already suffer from anxiety and I kept chocking every time it was my turn to speak.

I come from a very disadvantaged, working class, BAME background.

Hope someone understand what I'm going through and can maybe share their experience or help instil some confident in me.

I might come across dramatic to some, but I genuinely feel this way and have no one to talk to about it.

Thank you for posting this because I promise you, you’re not the only one that feels this way and it is completely valid. I, too, come from the same background and have been feeling the same recently. I’ve seen the incoming vac schemers for my firm on LinkedIn and I cannot help but compare myself to them and question myself.

However, I’ve found that spending the time having negative thoughts especially about myself is actually a big disservice to all my hard work until now and the obstacles I’ve had to personally overcome. I tell myself ‘not me that went through all that only to fall at the last hurdle because of self-confidence!!’ As Dan said, positive affirmations is so helpful.

Just even the fact that you’re on the scheme shows they see huge potential in you, especially when there are people with better grades etc. as you say. I think you’re the real winner here as you’ve managed to get on the scheme DESPITE your background so don’t waste that win by worrying so much that you forget to enjoy the scheme! x

 

[c1070]

Firstly huge congrats on your vac scheme - you have to keep reminding yourself that you are there because the firm believe you deserve to be and have seen something in you that means they want you as part of their team. I know how intimidating a shiny linkedin profile can be, and it’s an easy way to overwhelm yourself. Maybe for the duration of your vac scheme try to avoid it as it’s just another way to allow yourself to compare yourself to others?

You are definitely not the only one to feel this way! I had an AC in February and looking through the grad recruitment brochure saw a picture of a girl I went to uni with, and burst into tears because I thought that if she was the kind of person they wanted, there would be no way I’d be what they were looking for. My flat mate sat me down and gave me the worlds biggest pep talk, and honestly just taking 5 mins to remind yourself of what you have achieved and get into that positive mind set of ‘I want this, I’m going to do everything I can to get it’ will help you so much just in terms of how you present.

It can be SUCH an overwhelming process, so like everyone above has said use your background and the kind of person that’s made you into to your advantage!!!

 

[Donzi]

Wow guys, honestly I can't believe how much support everyone has shown. People have also messaged me privately. Amazing community. Thank you all for your kind words - I really appreciate it! It means a lot to have others to talk to and share feelings that you tend to bury.

I'm going to take everyones advice going forward! I'm going to come back once the vacation scheme is over and update everyone (hopefully with a TC offer)!

Really can't thank the TCLA community enough. Much love to everyone <3

 

[Alice G]

Wow guys, honestly I can't believe how much support everyone has shown. People have also messaged me privately. Amazing community. Thank you all for your kind words - I really appreciate it! It means a lot to have others to talk to and share feelings that you tend to bury.

I'm going to take everyones advice going forward! I'm going to come back once the vacation scheme is over and update everyone (hopefully with a TC offer)!

Really can't thank the TCLA community enough. Much love to everyone <3

We are all rooting for you, @Donzi!

 

[Jessica Booker]

If you have gone through a recruitment process for your vac scheme, the firm will have seen enough potential in you that means in no way they see you as an imposter - in fact the only person who will is you.

One of the benefits of no longer being tied to firms means I can be quite frank about things on here. Those A-Level grades others have mean very little, those cool hobbies also mean very little in the grand scheme of things too. Just because your grades/experiences are different, does not make them less impressive and in fact it maybe the case that they are even more impressive if it is clear you haven’t gained them by everything being given to you on a silver platter.

Firms will admire the distance you have come not the point you are at now. The distance will say a lot more about you and your character. That is what will be important to firms, as it will also be a better indicator of how far you could continue to go.